Pithy approach to political economy

A colleague sent this along.  I know it floated around Internet for awhile.

SOCIALISM
You have 2 cows. You give one to your neighbor.

COMMUNISM
You have 2 cows. The State takes both and gives you some milk.

FASCISM
You have 2 cows. The State takes both and sells you some milk.

NAZISM
You have 2 cows. The State takes both and shoots you.

BUREAUCRATISM
You have 2 cows.  The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and
then throws the
milk away…

TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM
You have two cows.You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies, and
the economy grows.
You sell them and retire on the income.

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows…  You sell one, and force the other to produce the
milk of four cows.
Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow has dropped dead.

ENRON VENTURE CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of
credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a
debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all
four cows back, with a tax
exemption for five cows. The milk rights of the six cows are transferred
via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the
majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your
listed company. The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with
an option on one more. You sell one cow to buy a new president of the
United States , leaving you with nine cows. No balance sheet provided
with the release. The public then buys your bull.

THE ANDERSEN MODEL
You have two cows. You shred them.

A FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows. You go on strike, organise a riot, and block the
roads, because you want three cows.

A JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of
an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create a
clever cow cartoon image called ‘Cowkimon’ and market it worldwide.

A GERMAN CORPORATION
You have two cows. You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat
once a month, and
milk themselves.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows, but you don’t know where they are. You decide to have
lunch.

A RUSSIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.  You count them and learn you have five cows. You
count them again and learn
you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you have 2 cows.
You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.

A SWISS CORPORATION
You have 5000 cows.  None of them belong to you. You charge the owners
for storing them.

A CHINESE CORPORATION
You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim that you
have full employment, and high bovine productivity. You arrest the
newsman who reported the real situation.

AN INDIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows. You worship them.

A BRITISH CORPORATION
You have two cows. Both are mad.

AN IRAQI CORPORATION
Everyone thinks you have lots of cows.
You tell them that you have none. No-one believes you, so they bomb the
**** out of you and invade your country. You still have no cows, but at
least now you are part of a Democracy…
.

A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION
You have two cows. The one on the left looks very attractive.

AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows. Business seems pretty good. You close the office and
go for a few beers to celebrate.

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Filed under humor, Political Economy

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